Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
