On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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