Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
