"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
