He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
