Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
