so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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