im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
