I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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