yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dick very happy bro
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
