Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
