I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
