i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
