and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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