Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize