I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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