Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He passed out mid-signature
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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