I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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