I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
