I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
