Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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