Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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