Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
