True but thats because hes a fetus.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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