That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
