My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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