Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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