please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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