If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
