If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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