Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
