Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Quick, to the slutcave!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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