I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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