i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
