Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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