Sponge bath it is.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
