epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
