Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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