i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize