If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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