the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
no more duck duck goose at the bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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