i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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