then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
