10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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