It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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