I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
