Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
