She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
