used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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