guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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