also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
