Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
