I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
