Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
