i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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