walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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