i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
