Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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