remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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