I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
