Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
either way he was missing a nipple.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
