whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
