Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
