i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
