Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The struggles of a small town man whore
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
