So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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