yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Farmville is her only friend.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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